Now, I know this is not true and that happiness comes from within because that is what people like Oprah Winfrey and Elizabeth Gilbert and Danielle LaPorte tell us on social media. But I'm starting to question them, because I'm pretty sure that today's breathlessly-anticipated grand opening of the Boston Public Market will literally change my entire life. I will finally find true and complete happiness simply because I will be the kind of person who shops at a public market. Everything will become amazing.
I'll immediately lose my horrible junk food habit. People who shop at public markets don't eat Cool Ranch Doritos purchased at the store in their office building lobby. I'll have fresh flowers on my kitchen table at all times. I'll have an heirloom tomato sprinkled with sea salt for dinner after I make eye contact with the person who grew it while I pay cash for it because I'll become responsible and actually go to the ATM. The lighting in my apartment when I eat that tomato will be perfect. I'll always be prepared for guests with something unique and locally grown and when they ask me where it's from I'll casually tell them the life story of the person or animal responsible for it. I'll never be late for work again. I'll have a beeswax candle in a mason jar because it's less toxic than the Glade apple cinnamon candle I've been forced to put up with for years. My hair will be shinier. I'll wear a real, clean outfit to go grocery shopping at the market over the weekend. I'll wear a real, clean outfit everyday. I'll actually go grocery shopping. I'll smile at tourists when they walk slowly and aimlessly down my street and ask them if they need directions and welcome them to the neighborhood because I'm super calm and happy from taking the yoga classes offered by the market. I'll absolutely drink 8 glasses of water a day and get 8 hours of sleep a night. I will never be drunk again because the wine and beer and cider purchased at the market wouldn't do that to me. I'll feel fine about the $22 cheese I buy weekly because it's high-quality so I'll need to eat less of it and it will last WAY longer. Yes. I'll be a person who has a small wedge of cheese and that's enough. I'm satisfied. I swear. I don't need the whole wheel. The girls who make the gluten free fresh pasta available at the market will be my Facebook friends. We'll drink tea in the fall at some point. I'll make big green salads in big beautiful wooden bowls. I should buy some salad servers. Handmade ones. On Etsy.
Okay, I'll stop. In all seriousness I think this is an enormously exciting addition to my city. I love where I live. I love the people who live here and who make and grow beautiful and delicious things. I am so excited to now be able to experience them under one roof all year long and to support their businesses. Here is a list of the vendors if you care. Everyone come shop. But not all at once I'll get annoyed if it gets too crowded. Wait. No. Scratch that. People who shop at public markets don't get annoyed.