Friday, March 18, 2016

Friday Five @ 5

Every Friday I will wake up at 5am, put myself at my desk, and write about the first five things that pop into my head. An effort to make sure I post something at least once a week. If you want to write you should write. 

1. I plan to make this Thai Peanut Burrito Bowl for dinner tonight. Have I had it before? Nope. But it sounds so delicious, I already plan to make it again on my day off this Monday. Do I actually have a day off this Monday? Nope. But I can FEEL a snow day coming on. The last time I checked the iPhone weather still had snowflakes on Sunday and Monday. 

2. Speaking of the iPhone, I was halfway down Hanover Street yesterday morning when I realized I'd forgotten mine at home. I kept walking. I wanted to try having a day away from it. My life didn't change. I didn't have an epiphany. I didn't get a lot more accomplished at work than usual. But I loved the break. I don't even really like my phone all that much, but I am hopelessly addicted to it. And seven times out of 10 when I pick it up and look at it I feel either anxious, annoyed, or more bored than I was before I picked it up. It's useful, sure, but it's so distracting. One of my co-workers and her friend played the fiddle in our lobby for a half hour around lunchtime yesterday for Saint Patrick's Day. Usually I would have had my phone with me. Taken a picture. Probably hit the little button at the bottom to check the time and see if I had any messages a few times. It was so nice to just sit there and listen. I knew they were going to finish playing at 12:30. I didn't need to look at the time. Later on I went to dinner with my parents and we had a really gorgeous meal. This was a very special treat, we went here. Anyway, as we were winding down three seemingly very nice people sat down next to us, ordered, and got right into their phones. It was so funny to really see what we all look like. This is a nice restaurant (thank you, Mom and Dad) and the food is just stunning, the dining room is really elegant, it's not like sitting at Otto by yourself at the end of a 12-hour day scarfing a pizza before you get on the train to go home, it's a special occasion restaurant. I felt so bad for these three people. I wanted to take a picture of them and show them what they looked like. But I didn't have my phone with me, so I jumped right back into chatting with Mom and Dad and enjoying the beautiful space.

3. I am so excited to watch this documentary about Nora Ephron that I almost want to run out and buy a TV and get HBO.

4. A few weeks ago in a span of 48 hours I went through a break-up and on a first date and I'm not even dating this year. You see, both the break-up and the first date were friend-related. I met up with a girl I went to elementary and middle school with and who I've gotten to know via Facebook. We finally decided to take the friendship out on dry land and sit down with some Italian food and wine and get to know each other in real life as adults.  It was SO much fun. The very next day I had a friendship-on-the-rocks come to an abrupt end. Sad on one level, an enormous relief on another. Anyway, since that week I've been thinking a lot about my friendships and what I've realized is that they're somewhat fluid. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I don't have a "best friend" and I've never really had a clique. Do people still say that word? NO. It's "squad" now. I've never been part of a "squad" but I've always had a lot of people in my life who I'm very close with and talk to A LOT. When I was in high school I had three friends I considered my closest. They kind of knew each other but they ran in different circles. When they'd hang out with their "friends" I was sometimes invited, and sometimes I wasn't. Recently I had a person who I consider a pretty close friend tell me she was excited to introduce her new boyfriend to her "friends." This did not include me. Hey, at least I know where I stand. That sounded bitter, but I'm really not complaining. I'm just noticing. If I had a crisis, I know I have 10 people I could go to immediately, maybe more. Not everyone can say that. It's 5:50 a.m. and I've already received two "good luck" texts from friends regarding something I have to do today. But out of those 10 people, I've only known two of them for more than five years. Again, NOT complaining, just noticing. All of this just has me wondering, am I weird because I don't have a DJ Tanner/Kimmy Gibbler-style lifelong friendship? Am I weird because people I consider very close friends don't typically consider me to be part of the "friends" category of their lives? What if I keep going like this and when I'm 90 (fingers crossed) and probably still haven't met a man to marry, I can't find any "friends" and then I'm REALLY alone??? Am I going to read this in 10 years and say, "Oh shut up, Ann. Take a deep breath and get a real problem?" Probably. It's just something I'm noodling on.

5. Sometimes you can't come up with five things to write about because your cat throws up in the middle of writing #4 and now it's just time for coffee. It just is. Have a great weekend, everyone.  

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