Friday, May 11, 2018

Friday Five @ 5

Public Garden, earlier this week
I guess spring isn't THAT bad
1. Hi. I missed you. Yes, you. I've been a deer in the headlights for a few weeks. Anxiety going full throttle. Schedule WAY too full. Very minor (but annoying) health crap to deal with. And hay fever. SO MUCH SNEEZING. How have you all been? This time of year is always a little tough for me. I know I'm supposed to be thrilled that winter is ending, but I tend to feel a little "meh" during this transition to spring. I can't breathe through my nose and I can't figure out what to wear. Is it too soon for sandals and everyone will be in boots today? Or will I look like the angel of darkness if I wear boots? Is it okay to wear pantyhose because Kate Middleton wears them and my legs are terrifyingly white? Are my toes ready for primetime or are we not showing our toes because it's before Memorial Day but we should wear a less wintry shoe? I woke up a couple weeks ago and it was cold and gray and rainy. I put on a sweater and jeans. I went for a walk at lunch and it was sunny and warm and I saw a woman walk by me in a floral dress and nude pumps. Did we wake up in the same city? Does she have a crystal ball? I enjoy a more decisive season. It's cold. It's hot. Clarity. Spring is too much of a drama queen.

2. Have you seen Amy Schumer's I Feel Pretty? I took myself to see it last week because I really needed to sit in the dark by myself and eat salty snacks and not talk to anyone for two hours. I figured this movie would be entertaining enough. It's not going to win any awards, but it was very amusing. I know that half the internet is screaming about this movie because they think the message is that a woman would have to be delusional to have self-confidence. I can sort of see it? But I really don't think that was what the movie was saying. To me it was about self-perception. I don't think the other characters were shocked by her temporary confidence in the movie because a woman who looks like Amy Schumer should not be confident. I think they were shocked because (a) it came out of nowhere and (b) when was the last time you met a woman who was unabashedly confident? Every time someone pays me a compliment I immediately try to talk them out of it. Them: "You have nice hair." Me: "It so needs to be cut, I have so many split ends." JUST SAY THANK YOU. But I can't. Earlier this week I was walking home from a Pilates class carrying my mat. I had the obvious look of a person who had recently exercised. In my head I was thinking that everyone on the street was probably looking at me and feeling sorry for me. "Oh look at that awkward creature carrying her mat. Too bad she was probably the worst in the class. It's so sweet that she tries."  I shouldn't have felt that way. I was in the front row in class, I did all the high options, and the teacher told me directly that I was doing a good job more than once. I'd also taught two classes the night before. I think I can walk around feeling like a person who legitimately exercises. But that's where my self-perception is. I know I'm not alone here. How do we change this without bumping our heads? 

3. A few weeks ago I stumbled on this blog post from Follain about switching to natural deodorant. In the post they say natural deodorant is one of the "gateway products for people looking to make the shift to clean beauty." I made the switch to this one from Meow Meow Tweet and I really love it. It smells great, it's very gentle. That said, I don't think this is for everyone. You DO sweat and initially I wasn't used to that. But now I'm used to it, and I like the idea of letting my body do it's thing and no longer slathering a bunch of toxic chemicals under my arms every morning. Follain was right that natural deodorant is a "gateway product" because now I'm on a mission to make the switch to non-toxic products across the board. I never realized how much crap was in every single thing I was using. So far I've changed my shampoo, soap, cleanser, day and night moisturizers, and some of my makeup. My skin is a lot less irritated, and investing in some high-quality self care products has felt really nice. I look forward to my morning and evening routines in a way I didn't before. It feels good to take care of my physical self and that feeling is starting to spill over into other areas of my life. Follain is a beautiful store and you Bostonians should check it out. It's a woman-owned small business with locations in Beacon Hill and the South End. Their owner Tara really knows what she's doing. So far my favorite products are this shampoo, this cleanser, and this eye pencil.

4. As I mentioned above in #1, my anxiety has been booming lately. Naturally, I shared this very personal struggle on Facebook last week and heard from several people who feel the same way. Many of those people recommended I read Dan Harris's 10% Happier: How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help that Actually Works. I want to do all of those things, so I went to the Brookline Booksmith and bought it. I'm hoping to read it in the next week.

5. What are you up to this weekend? I'm looking forward to dinner at Crudo with Prom Date on Saturday night and celebrating Mother's Day with my family at Monica's on Sunday morning. Happy Friday, you guys.

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