Wednesday, March 20, 2019

My Two CBD Cents

The way we talk about CBD reminds me of how we all used to talk about online dating. Remember when started and it was HORRIFYING if anyone knew you were using it? Now it's rare to hear about a new relationship that didn't start online or via some app. Everyone does it, everyone talks about it. (I met Doug on Bumble.) Anyway, I feel the same way about CBD. LOTS of us use it, very few of us do it all that openly.

I first started to hear about CBD maybe a little under a year ago. I didn't really have it on my radar. I knew marijuana sales were starting soon in Massachusetts, I knew CBD was somehow related to marijuana but I didn't really understand what it was and I didn't really care. Meh. The thing that made my ears perk up was an Instagram story posted by Jessamyn Stanley. She talked about Veritas Farms CBD Oil and how it worked for her. She said it "settled every part of her." That sounded great. I was intrigued. I dug a bit deeper and posted a little blurb on my own Instagram story asking people to message me if they'd tried CBD and were comfortable sharing their opinion/experience. I received lots of positive messages. The thing that came across most loudly was that CBD can help with anxiety. HELLO. GOOD MORNING.

I really struggle with anxiety, I think most of you who will read this already know that. I worry about everything. Anxiety for me feels like a relentless churn. It makes the tough days a LOT tougher and the good days sort of mediocre. I've dealt with it in a number of ways over the years. Yoga (and really any movement) has always been and continues to be an amazing way to temper my anxiety. Cutting back on and/or eliminating alcohol. Saying "no" more often. Taking stock of friendships and professional relationships and stepping away from those that had gone to an unhealthy place. Teaching. Writing. Tea. All the stuff the blogs tell you to do.

For a little while I took medication for my anxiety: a low dose of Zoloft. It helped a little, but I didn't love the way it made me feel. I felt less anxious, but I also felt like I was sitting in the back seat of my life, not fully present, so I weened myself off.

I didn't take anything for anxiety until I tried CBD about a month ago. I started with gummies that I purchased at one of my absolute favorite stores, Cambridge Naturals. I also ordered the oil from Veritas Farms that Jessamyn referenced in her post. I started slow and small. The lowest dosage gummies, the lowest dosage oil, and I've kept it there. So far? This stuff really works for me. Is all of my anxiety gone? No. Not even close. Does it make me feel amazing? Nope. It's not a magic bullet. I'm not walking around without a care in the world smiling at everyone. I'm still me. It just makes me feel...... not shitty.

My experience is that you don't notice it right away. You take it and think, welp, I wasted money on that, this is doing nothing. Then an hour later you realize, huh. I'm not having a constant internal meltdown. Someone has their office door closed at work and I'm not sweating and assuming it's about me and that I'm getting fired. I just got a lot of things done and they didn't all seem so monumental. A person who isn't particularly nice to me just crossed my path and I don't feel like eating nine bags of Doritos to cope. I'm a person. I'm doing things. This is cool. It doesn't make me noticeably drowsy. I've taken it and gone and taught a fitness class a few hours later. It doesn't make me feel like I'm under the influence at all. Taking one Benadryl has a stronger impact on me.

It seems too good to be true - like finding the perfect person on only to learn that they are mean and awful a short time later - but until someone can prove that this is bad for me or it stops making me feel better, I'm all over it. My two CBD cents.